Birth Story Seraphine

Date                                     January 5, 2016

Place                                    The Netherlands

Setting                                 Home birth

Attending                            Father and 2 holistic midwives

Type of birth                       Land birth

Birth order                           First born

Birthing time                       7,5 hours 

During my pregnancy, I read a Dutch book called ´Free Birth´. The author of the book, Anne Myrte Korteweg, talks about the natural process of pregnancy and birth, how to make use of what nature and your body have to offer in this process without being disturbed by unnecessary medical intervention. She also talks about your rights as a pregnant woman and what informed consent really is.

For those who don't know, this is the principle in health law that the patient has to give permission to carry out a medical treatment. This consent can only be given if the patient is fully informed. The doctor has an information duty in this respect. If one of the two is missing, there is no informed consent.

Partly thanks to this book, we decided to take a HypnoBirthing course. Thanks to the course, the importance of the right care provider became clear and therefore we chose a holistic midwife. She thinks beyond protocols and standards, she looks at the person and the situation. I wanted someone I could build a relationship of trust with and who was prepared to go along with what I was going to learn in the course. 

After the HypnoBirthing course we were both very confidant and looked forward to the home birth. I had created a clear vision of how I wanted my birth to be and chose a land birth since I easily get stuffy in a bath, so I it was my wish to give birth on a birthing stool. 

In contrast to the first 18 weeks of my pregnancy, during which I was mainly nauseated and exhausted. The last period of my pregnancy was very nice. I was busy preparing for the birth and enjoyed being pregnant and connecting with my daughter.

In the meantime, the estimated time of arrival or as they normally call it due date (19 December) passed, it was Christmas, New Year's Eve and then it was the start of the new year... It was more than two weeks after the ETA and people around us were getting increasingly nervous. 

I still felt good, energetic and happy about the imminent birth of my daughter. Seraphine was still moving well. The father and me were both not worried.

Since it was now taking longer than the period in which babies are normally born, the midwife suggested that we would have some tests done. We therefore agreed to do a stress test on Monday the 4th January. This was to see how Seraphine was doing when nothing else was happening. They looked at her heartbeat, the amount of amniotic fluid and the blood supply and drainage of the placenta. Everything was fine. The most convincing for us was that our daughter was still moving around a lot. 

However, the midwife insisted that she would also give me a membrane sweep me before waiting at home. We agreed on the condition that she would do her best not to open any membranes in the process. It did not work because the midwife could not reach the cervix. I agreed, not because I found it necessary, but because the midwife wanted this and since it is seen as a non-intrusive intervention I didn't really mind and wanted to accommodate her. Which I now find a weird motivation, but at the time that was okay for me. 

That afternoon, I went for acupuncture. I was having appointments every few days now since week 40 to help the cervix to soften and open. That afternoon during the acupuncture treatment I felt some light contractions for the first time. We were very happy about that and we returned home full of expectations. During dinner it started to get a bit more and so we waited eagerly. It didn't get much more until about 10 in the evening. The waves kept coming but very irregularly.

I was in a great mood and completely ready for it: yoga mat rolled out, heating on everywhere, HypnoBirthing handout ready... The waves were easy to breathe away and I decided to do some yoga exercises to give Seraphine more space to get into the optimal position. After a couple of hours, full of expectations, the waves more or less stopped and we decided to try and get some sleep. We could make good use of the energy later we reconned.

That morning the midwife came to check up on us. Since there was some movement we decided not to go into hospital again, but to wait and see if the contractions would pick up again. 

Until then, we had kept everything dark to give the hormones as much of a chance as possible to flow freely. On the midwife´s advice we stopped doing that. As there was no further progress. She advised us to get away from it all. So we went for a walk in the park around the district and went to the supermarket for some shopping. When we got home we were both pretty tired, so we took a shower and went to bed. By that moment we had decided that if Seraphine wouldn´t come before the next morning we would be okay with a hospital induction. For that to be okay for me I had to let go of my fear. Until then only thinking of having to give birth in the hospital got me upset and stressed. Once I let go of my fear of giving birth in the hospital my body could relax and so it came that I that I was lying in bed for about 5 minutes when I felt something warm running... My membranes had opened! The amniotic fluid was clear at that point and smelled sweet, so that was okay. We would wait and see what would happen. Within 15 minutes I understood what was meant by practice waves. These waves were of a completely different calibre! You can't just breathe them away while still having a conversation. This was a lot more intense and somehow unexpected. My husband phoned the midwife and she realised immediately that it was serious. She got there as soon as she could.

In the meantime, Jeroen and I sought our way between the theory and practice of HypnoBirthing. It took a while before we both found peace in this new situation and knew which exercises were good, but it worked. After each wave I seemed to find my peace more easily again with my husband guiding me with the relaxation exercises, hypnosis suggestions and key words. We had tried some positions, but I just wanted to lie on my side, with all the lights off and no sound. 

In the meantime, the midwife had arrived. The waves became more intense and back and leg waves were added. Jeroen and the midwife massaged the waves away and that helped. I was completely lost in my own world, but accessible if necessary. However, speaking cost me too much energy, so we agreed that I would indicate with my hand that there was another wave coming. That way, my husband knew how and with what exercise he could help me. 

 

Suddenly, I had to go to the toilet. I struggled up and waddled across the corridor towards the bathroom. I didn't get very far. ¨I really have to pee now," I cried out. ¨Just let it go," said the midwife. I looked at her, dazed, "Here? ¨ I could see from her face that she meant it. I didn't need any more encouragement. I let everything go and it didn't bother me a bit. Who would ever have thought that, haha!?

My waves started to change and more pressure came down. During the next waves, my body took over completely. I stood on my toes and a downward movement came from my belly. I wanted to go back to the bedroom and lie down. ¨If I have to endure this for a long time, I don't know if I will be able to. This is very intense," I thought. Immediately I remembered that when you think or say something like that, you are almost there. That thought gave me renewed courage. On the way to the bed, the midwife said it was time to sit on the birthing stool. Despite all the changes I had noticed myself I was still surprised. 

In the meantime, the second midwife had joined us. There was more movement around me as I sat down on the birthing stool with my husband behind me. I felt very supported, literally and figuratively and I was so grateful that we could experience this together. With every wave that came after that I automatically stood on my toes, between the waves I would slid back on the birthing stool and rested. Now I understood what was meant by 'the ring of fire'. I felt the ring clearly, another sign that I was almost there! 

I was still wearing my shirt. After what seemed to me just a few waves, the midwife asked me to take off my shirt, but I refused. At this point every movement, every change seemed too much. She reminded me that I had put this in my birth plan and that I wanted Seraphine on my bare belly straight away. ¨Oh yes, true. " I thought and quickly took off my shirt. Then she asked my husband to sit with her before the birthing stool to take Seraphine when she would come out. ¨Oh no!" I exclaimed, "I can't do this alone, I need him now!" So he stayed put to support me. Two waves later Seraphine was born with a giant splash of water, she shot out! The only thing I could utter was: "Ohh, ohh!" I was moved and amazed and excited, and overwhelmed, all at the same time. She was here, she was born and she was wonderful! Such a beautiful, small, sweet, perfect baby. I was in ecstasy and could not believe it. We did it!

 

After about 15 minutes I suddenly felt waves again. It was time for the placenta to be born. A little push and a warm blob came out. It felt quite nice, like a great warm, soft relief. 

I only had one tear, but a nasty one because I kept bleeding. The midwives were slightly worried and decided to stitch me up anyway. I found that the most unpleasant part of the whole birth. A small catheter was also inserted. They did not want me to get up to go to the bathroom because of the blood loss. 

I wanted to give my daughter the opportunity to find the breast herself. She was very wobbly, which I had not expected. It made me nervous. She reminded me of a little dashboard doll with a wobbly head. Seraphine got angry that she couldn't drink straight away. I was amazed that, at only a few hours old, she was already showing so much emotion and clearly had a will. After much practice during the first few days, it finally worked out with the breastfeeding. My milk production got off to a good start. So good in fact that on the fourth day I had developed a blocked milk duct. With the help of our dear maternity nurse (in The Netherlands the first 7-10 days you get a maternity nurse at home), the congestion disappeared after more than a day of fever and pain. Seraphine did not seem to be suffering much and was able to keep drinking which helped in solving the blockage.  

Before the birth we had attended a breastfeeding information meeting, received information from the midwife, read a book about breastfeeding and watched videos. I thought I was pretty well prepared, but it was much less intuitive than I expected. In the end we found our way, but it took some time. In the first four months I had 6 times a blocked milk duct with high fever and even as many times I seriously considered quitting the breastfeeding. Fortunately, I did not do so. All in all I breastfed Seraphine for over 3 years. In the end, we were both able to enjoy these intimate moments of rest and she grew strong and healthy on my milk, for which I am still very grateful.